Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Ow. ow. Ow.

I'm just now recovering. See, once my stomach thing subsided, I went to an Emmy party - shut up, free nachos! - and my show won, so in your face! To celebrate the stunning victory of The Office and Tony Shalhoub, and the fact that I made back a lot of the money that I dumped in the Oscar pool, I had an entire bowl of not-quite-jelled-jello-shots...and I woke up today. Damn. Fine party, very fine party. Too bad I can't remember whose house it was at, because I really liked those pants.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Death, Warmed Over

And Munch is sitting here like the Grim Reaper, all dressed in black and chortling during a Charmed marathon. I swear to dog, if there's anything worse than death by your own digestive system, it's suffering it while someone watches every crappy fantasy/sci-fi TV show ever made. I'm surprised he hasn't managed to track down a channel showing Manimal or something.
If you ask me, the old pervert just has the hots for Shannon Dougherty, which in itself is pretty barf-inducing. I shouldn't rag on him, though. He's been here the whole time I've been sick. For some reason, I'm thinking that should be making me think of something, but I can't quite put it together...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Yes, He Is That Stupid

Wondering where Mike's been?
Well, let's call this a litmus test of his intelligence. Never ever accept mystery brownies when you know somebody's mad at you. Or if you do, and then you come down with a mystery ailment that you politely call the stomach flu, don't keep eating the brownies! I think I'm going to stop soon. I'm concerned for his health; well, that and I'm spending a fortune on ex-lax.
Then again, when I start to feel sorry for the big lug, I just think about how that slurpee felt when he upended it on me. Excuse me...I think I have some baking to do.
JM, over and out.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Movies, Munch and Mayhem

I'm not even going to bother telling you how the gulag came into the argument. Suffice to say that Munch gets testy and defensive when it comes to films.
He's STILL sulking because nobody went to see Blade II with him, and that was what, ten years ago? So every time there's a movie he wants to see and you won't go with him the same day he decides to go, he gets all huffy and whiny and mutters "Fine. Then I won't see it - just like Blade"
I try to point out that the reason nobody would see that one with him is because it was horrible, but he won't listen to reason. Does it matter to him that he rented it and had to turn it off due to massive crapitude? No, it does not. Pretty much the same thing happened during Daredevil, the movie so sucktacular that I got up and left even though we were watching it at my place. I think Munch and I have got to agree to disagree about movies based on comic books, as we seem to have very firm and divergent opinions. We're not allowed back at the place we saw Spiderman II, and the less said about Batman Returns incident, the better.
Anyhow, we agreed that Supes looked kinda plastic and Lois was a little too youthful. When he pointed out that Superman was really coming off like a super-stalker, I had to agree, and he, in turn, did think it was pretty skanky of Lois to hop into bed with Richard White so quickly that she (and he) could have thought the kid was his. We were in total agreement that the kid subplot was not only heavy-handed but dumb, and the messiah-comparison was sketchy in the extreme. However, when he says that Gene Hackman was a better Lex Luthor than Kevin Spacey, he's just being ridiculous. Hackman was good, great, even, but Spacey was simply the best Lex ever. Okay, hiring Kumar from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle may have been a tactical error, but other than that? Brilliant!
And whatever his (stupid) opinion might have been, he didn't have to dump a large extra-buttered popcorn on my head. I think pouring a slurpee on him was only justified after that - and of course I used his slurpee; I was drinking mine. I don't think I've been madder at him since the Gulag incident, and since that was the case, of course I brought it up, and he trotted out the same pack of lies he always uses about that.
Until he apologizes, he can sit and sulk in his slurpee-covered shorts. If he thinks I'm seeing The Illusionist with him, he's nuts. Well, okay, he's already nuts, but this time, I mean it.

Monday, August 14, 2006

It's Short, Because It's Monday

Okay, I'm just gonna quit going to the movies with people. As Carolyn metioned, Munch and I are on the outs again, primarily because of his repeated lies about whether or not he was ever in a Russian Gulag, but the whole fight started because of Superman Returns. I was in a bad mood to begin with, considering my original plans fell through, but then, I agreed to see it with him.
Now, I'd heard it sucked, which made me a little reluctant to blow 3 hours of my life on it, but he got all pouty and whiny, and god knows we don't want a repeat of what happened with Blade. And that's where our troubles began.....
(I'll explain that and the assault on my person after the last movie tomorrow - today, there is crime.)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

More Notes

1) My partner is an excellent cook. Just so you know.
2) Still not answering questions about the g/f.
3) Got punched in the nose re: Lady in the Water.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Some Questions Answered

Here goes:
Carolyn: Absolutely, especially if you're cooking. Tonight? Tomorrow? ....wait, tomorrow afternoon, I'm seeing Lady in the Water and I think I'm supposed to buy dinner after, so, when?
Nomi: I've see Pirates a LOT. And I should mention how much I like your story. Fiction, thank everything, but better than most one comes across! At least I'm not going to Hogwarts in a Tardis or any weird crap like that. (However, for anyone reading this? Hogwarts in a Tardis beats kissing - or worse - a guy any day. So if you're writing, please take my opinion on that into account, please.) Seriously, people should look-see, because Nomi writes well.
Anonymous: Not that it's any of your bees-wax, but I am over 40 and Munch is over 50. That's as good as you get.
Riccie: The rabbit was offered drinks. He chose water and eating socks instead. I beleive Munch's socks are so old that they have hallucinogenic properties anyway.
Penguin: Hello! Glad you are well, and this goes for all of the penguin brigade.
Ann: Yes, I have been driven to Wang's, where I toasted you with a margarita and patted the luck cat for Fiona and all of your loved ones over there.
Elliot: I have met many english teachers - they're a little too crazy for me. I don't think I could hit that level of nuts if I tried.
And for anyone I missed...well, hello.
Ask, and you shall be answered - eventually.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Bleah. I am NOT looking forward to today at work, despite the a/c. Paperwork! More and more and more. Munch fed his to his new rabbit; I have no such resource.
Gahh, so I'm gonna sit here and do my paperwork, then go home and watch a lousy cop show. I gave up and tried to find something non-alcoholic - you know how hard it is to find drinks without corn syrup - besides water, I mean. I went to the grocery store, and that's all I ended up with. $40 of water???? What the hell???
Oh, and a bottle of Bima Peach tea, which was rather tasty, actually. Wonder how it would be with rum in it....????