Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Too Much All At Once

I need Blogger to stop pestering me about switching. I am having a serious crisis of hideous proportions, and the last thing I need is to get nagged by electronics.
Leave me alone!

John Munch here. Thought you should know that the big baby is sulking because he lost his last paycheck betting on the Oscars. He's planning on whining later, but right now he's kicking chairs and swearing he'll never watch another english-language film other than The Maltese Falcon again.
Over and out,

Monday, February 26, 2007

It's Early For You, Late For Me

This is really pushing my theory that it's not tomorrow until you go to sleep. It's 5:25 am, and I have to go to work, but Sunday's not over yet.
Can you believe I was up almost all weekend arguing with someone about a Dukes of Stratosphear album? Un-frickin'-beleivable. I mean, it devolved into personal insults and fisticuffs soon enough, and yes, there may have been some booze involved, but how you can blow off any respectable effort by members of XTC, I will never know.
Surprisingly, it was not Munch, it was a pal of his whose name I didn't catch. I'd tell you what I did call him, but the freckly one has actually put a curse jar in the office, and you won't beleive this, but it does not mean that whoever curses the most wins the pot.
Anyhow, about an hour ago, Munch came out of his bedroom in only his black boxers and told us both to shut the hell up and go the hell home. My eyes are still burning.
I called the girlfriend to tell her what was up, and after she stopped asking what time it was, it happened. Look, I don't expect her to know off the bat who The Dukes of Stratosphear are, but not XTC? How does that happen? She said she didn't keep track of groups who peaked before she was born. OW. Way to start the week!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Tech Help (?)

Okay, once again, a delay. You know, if a certain freckle-faced partner thinks that she's being helpful by putting a porn-blocker on here, she's just wrong. I can't even get to my hompage if one of those things is on!
I swear, you can't tell me that [inappropriate link blocked] is bad. LOOK -

That, my friends, is where law enforcement and art meet. Rowr!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I Hate Kids and Cats

Well, actually, I don't hate all cats, but I'm wasn't too happy that Munch let one loose in my apartment. Yes, he finally figured out that I put the first rabbit in his, and he wants me to re-home it. Anybody want a bunny with an attitude problem?

The cat is worse - I got in late, and the bastard is sitting on my commode. You heard me. Yes, I mean the cat, not Munch. It's looking at me like I'm the trespasser, and it glared so hard I backed off. He didn't flush, either, which I don't know about you, but I find that nasty.

I called Munch, because who else would do it? He said that was a great idea - he was inspired by the sign he puts up every Valentine's day: it actually says "I Hate Kids and Cats." He took it one better, too. Seems he called my girlfriend and talked about how lonely I get, and how I really should get a pet, so she was the one who picked out the damn thing, and he just let it loose on my stuff. Apparently, that's my valentine's day surprise and I either have to keep it or figure out how to squirm out of it. John Munch is made of pure evil.

Also, I'm worried this is a segueway to the kid conversation.
I'm okay with other people's kids, but let's not make the leap that I want any. As far as I'm concerned, they're more high-maintenance pets than skunks, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want me to tell her to check my vasectomy scar.

I told her anyone who doesn't come up to my knees doesn't come into my house, and she just laughed. I think I'm gonna wear the "I love Porn" t-shirt Carolyn bought me just to prove my point if she makes me go to that family dinner she keeps threatening me with.

On the other hand, maybe she'll stop trying to get me to vist her nieces and nephews after she sees that I let the cat have beer. (He's a selfish critter, too - bogarted my last Guiness.)

And I still have no good plans for Valentines. Well, I still have a few hours.

Friday, February 09, 2007


She stole my computer and made me take 4 vacation days, and yet I'm still supposed to come up with something for valentine's day. Great, just great.
I think staying in and watching Hong Kong comedies and eating chinese food is very romantic. Hiding from your ex-girlfriends is also romantic. So are flowers from the deli around the corner.
I ran all these past Munch. He said he'd figured out why I've never been divorced.

Saturday, February 03, 2007


Okay, two things:
One: You would think that in the wintertime, one's allergies would give it a rest. You would be wrong. Went out drinking with a college pal of mine, and discovered a new allergy - some weird all natural energy drink. That was ME horking all the way down Sixth Street and missing the show at Rocky Sullivan's.
Two: Valentine's day. I think I'm gonna take the coward's way out and drink more of that poison-to-me crap. That way, the pressure'll be off. I mean, nobody expects romance if you're in the ER, right?