Oh, For F*ck's Sake!!!
All right, so I got pnuemonia, and I'm told it's in bad taste to call it the Jim Henson Death Disease. And if YOU try to choke down Munch's mother's recipe for matzoh ball soup, you'll understand how bad these past few weeks have been. Errrgh. Mrs. Munch mave have been a saint, but she was no chef. I don't even LIKE matzoh ball soup. I had to smuggle them out in kleenex.
Gahhhhh, so THEN, I had plane tickets, and I already paid for them, so damned if I'm NOT gonna go ahead and use them, so despite it maybe being a bad idea, I went to Oakland to visit my cousin Goatboy. Yeah, Goatboy. He plays guitar - don't ask.
Anyhow, long story short, Goatboy hitches in from San Diego, I fly into Modesto, rent a car, and we drive into San Francisco.
Now, I'm still kinda sick and dizzy, so not at the top of my game. I ask after we walk a few blocks, "Hey, you remember where we parked?" He says "Yeah," and we head on our merry way. A few hours and a few beers later, it's time to go. I say "So, where's the car?" and he answers "In the garage."
You do see the problem, right?
We circle the greater downtown SF area for two hours trying to find the exact combination of the bank machine he used, the coffee place I stopped at, and the McDonald's where he used the restroom. It's cold, dark, and kinda wet, and no offense, but San Fran has parts that really smell like ass.
We finally bribe a cabbie $20 to take us back under the municipal parking sign that I remembered - and lo and behold, 3/4 of a block away, there's the car. Needless to say, this did NOT help my illness.
To make matters worse, Goatboy needed to get a doctor's excuse to skip work at the guitar shop the next day - and it turns out, he WAS sick. Bronchitis. Contagious.
We couldn't even order a pizza over the phone - we sounded like obscene callers.
After that, the flight home in coach seemed like luxury, except for the screaming babies. I was even happy to see Munch and his matzoh balls for a moment.
posted by Mike @ 5:25 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
oh mike sweetheart I feel so bad... I knew I should've sent you my knaidlech soup... the purest penicillin ever... but you're getting better aren't you; aren't you?
Oooooh man, that sucks. Was it worth it to go chill with Goatboy, at least?
:-)
Sorry to hear you have been so sick. here is a cop joke to cheer you up!!:
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.. He phoned the police, who asked "Are any of those people in your house" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply stay in his house, lock his doors and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay,"
hung up ... counted to 30 ... and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you few seconds ago because there were people in my shed," " Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just
shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police
cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Ph illips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Mike, you poor baby. But I totally get the whole 'I spent the money, and it's not going to waste' attitude.
I hope you're feeling better now. Nothing worse than being sick. Especially that sick.
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