It's Not Dover Beach...

Grit the teeth, walk out, DON'T slam the door, get well out of earshot, then scream. Luckily, the beach is still deserted. I'll go for a nice long walk so you can take your time on the phone. With Bobby.

Holy crap. Do you WANT to see some sort of jealous display? Mission accomplished! This is obviously some sort of freakin’ test. I say I'm okay with something, so you need me to prove it. Are you sure? Really sure?
Maybe I should call Izzy! That’s it, I’ll call Izzy and ask her to ask Bobby what Alex thinks, then Bobby can tell Izzy to tell me to tell Alex that….are you seeing the issue here?

How many people are in this relationship, Alex? Yeah, I know, technically quite a few. But I was really hoping for a bit it could be just you and me.

Stop. This isn’t helping. Ok, here’s what I’ve got. Your husband is gone. Ergo, he’s perfect, isn’t he? He’s not here to screw up, to be human. There’s no pressure? Are you out of your head? He’s not here to supplement the other half of the problems, that’s what it is. I don’t compete because I can’t. It’s impossible, and it’s futile, and it’s unfair to me and to you, if you think about it. He’s part of who you are now, and I was all right with that – I am all right with that, but don’t pull this on me.

But Bobby-frickin’-Goren is an entirely different matter. He is right here, and the last time I checked, he’s a guy. No offense, but I know how we think, no matter how innocent the intentions, no matter how we don’t act on it. Want to know the biggest difference – and don’t you dare get pissed at me – between the two situations, me and her, you and him? I’m not curious about her, because I know.
Wait, you say? He’s your best friend; the closest person in the world to you… is this sounding familiar? The person who knows you best, all the hurt and problems? Well, how about I say I don’t like that? I wouldn’t do that to you, so that’s not an issue. Why? I trust you – that doesn’t mean I enjoy having another guy, a guy I work with, involved here.

Another big difference, Alex? If you came out and said something – if you said, “I don’t trust Kate” – and you don’t know her, so I can’t blame you, I’d go for that. Want me not to go out drinking with her? Sounds fine. Not okay with me disappearing for hours with her? Whatever, all right. If she said that about you, and that’s a BIG if, since she’d never go that far – we do have lines, you know, weird ones, but they’re there – I’d laugh right in her face.

The only way Kate Dobyrinski has ever kept me from having what I really wanted in another relationship is because I haven’t met anyone I like better. Until now, and you can take that either way you choose.

I’m tired of throwing rocks in the ocean and being pissed off out here. Maybe you’re off the phone, and out of the three guys and two women – at the very least – we’ve dragged here, the two of us can talk as privately as we can manage.