Adult Content Below....

I warn you, what you are about read is not for the faint of heart.

I know you may have been looking forward to some kind of resolution after all this gloom and doom. True, I meant for this weekend to be romantic and fun, but apparently, some people have different ideas about what that means. That’s ok; I guess we were due for a talk, and I may not have been as smooth in keeping my secrets as I thought.

I’d like to say, though that someone has learned their sense of interrogation and timing from Bobby Goren, and Bobby, I hate you.

I’ll tell you what happened, all right. You'll get all the drama in its full glory. But you want to know what led up to that?

So, we end up out on the beach, and Alex questions me momentarily about the legality of the bonfire. “No problem," I say, taking a quick pull from the bottle, “Most beach cops dislike interrogating naked drunk guys with a badge. I’m getting the drunk part outta the way...”

Cut to twenty minutes later. I think I hear her – “Mike...Mike, I think we ought to talk.” I try to make it clear I’m not listening, and while la-la-la works pretty well, serving rather a dual purpose as it does in the situation, using someone else’s legs as earmuffs just don’t work as well as sticking your fingers in your ears... and she keeps saying it! Once she pulls my hair, I figure she's serious.

I prop up on one arm, and address what I consider to be the issue. “Um, Alex? I don’t mean to be a jackass, but it really is bugging me that I’m working on what I consider my “A” game here, and not getting the proper attention paid to that...I mean, if you notice, I’m not just "painting the fence," right?”

She duly admires the effort (and well she should!) but continues, with a little difficulty, to insist that we’re going to have a heart-to-heart.

Over thirty years of "research" have taught me a little bit about distracting someone, so if I can just stall until I get it right...“Sure, we can talk...” hmm, not there...“but do you really think now’s good?” not there either; I’m using my off hand, remember...“I can quit if you want...” Eureka! Dr. Grafenberg to the rescue...

Repeat this a few times over, in varying combinations. Finally, I try to roll over and catch a quick nap, even though it’s kinda cold out there, and she says it again. I know she’s serious, and I only briefly consider bursting into tears to postpone it some more – a cheap trick, I know, but I’m sooo tired, and my fingers are cramped, and my tongue might be sprained...but all fun aside, I meant to come up here to be with her, and if she wants to talk, we'll talk.

From there, it gets really serious, really fast. More later.

Oh, and the regular music returns tomorrow, but you should really listen to both songs up there now.
Addendeum - I've taken them down, but let me know if you want them for future readings. They were Will Ferrell's version of "Afternoon Delight" and The Flash Girl's "Meaningful Dialogue."