Deal With the Devil

Or more like one of his lesser minions, at any rate.
I went to bed a happy man. There was peace in my little world, I'd had some very interesting conversations that day, and all was right.
Then the phone rang at an unholy hour. You know how sometimes you just know it's bad news? I didn't. If I had, I would have just tossed it out the window. But no, I answered, and got greeted with "Hello, Logan, you waste of space."

Because the universe is an awful place, it was KD, the ex, calling in the favor I owe her early. After the requisite shouting match, she hit me with the lousy news that she's coming into to town, and she wants to use my place for her Festivus party.

At first, I say no way. What kind of lunatic would I be if I let a roving band of Maenads into my place on purpose? But after she agrees to abide by some basic rules (nobody goes in my bedroom, she's responsible for all breakage and my security deposit and so on) I start to relent. Especially when she mentions something about installing a pole for decoration and dancing, which she'd have removed later so people won't think I'm a sleaze. (To which she says, "You mean so people won't have concrete proof you're a sleaze.")

I say I want someone there to supervise. She says that'll be the bouncer's job. I was surprised that she was being alert enough to hire one, and she comes out with "I'm not paying you."

Well, of course there's more yelling, and she brings up May 27, 1982, like she always does, and long story short, my Festivus is ruined. I'm also going to be on the receiving end of her Airing of Grievances.

And what gave her this leverage? That list. I have purchased it at a great price, although she probably would've found a way to do this anyhow. At least maybe KD will scare Subway Chick off once and for all.

I'll post it up tonight or tomorrow, I promise. Now I'm off for a midnight movie, and a consolatory drink or six.

By the way, today's song was Alison Krauss's cover of the Beatles' "I Will" - but KD once assured me that if I played that for another woman, she would do origami with my favorite bodily bits, which sounded good to me until I looked up the word. Yowch. She would, too. Though she is but little, she is fierce.


Oh, and if you should be on the Festivus card list, make sure I have your email address.