Well, That Went Well...
Oh, of course I'm being sarcastic. Except I'm kind of not.
Where to begin? What she did to my home? The decor was early drive-you-slowly-mad. I'm not kidding. The weird paint colors, the art, everything. "It's supposed to be extremely emotionally unsettling on a subliminal level." she said, as I was staring at one of the less odd paintings (see right) "If you spend long enough in it, it may cause some levels of sexual dysfunction." And she was annoyed about having to change it back! Oh, and, Kenny? Nice job on guarding the joint. Putting a lampshade on a six-foot tall bong does not make it a lamp.
The screaming fights, perhaps? Ah, I've missed the button-pushing, random insanity and deeply held but ultimately warped convictions that have bundled into the dear thing. Job outsourcing, Yeats versus Eliot, A Chinese Ghost Story, targeted advertising and whether Joseph Campbell was talking the piss were not supposed to be brought up in polite company. For each of these, we adjourned to the other room for a few, but the sounds may have carried a bit.
Oh, the lovely displays of humor - that's my favorite. Know what she told my neighbors about me being gone? That I went to Switzerland for gender reassignment surgery! Just to mix it up a bit, she told some of them it was a second trip, adding "Girlfriend's gotta make up his mind, on or off, I say." Her justification? "Your neighbors are too uptight."
The embarrassing stories, the mortifying questions, the mention of inappropriate intimacies, I almost can't bring myself to discuss. They're an entire post unto themselves, as were the actual good bits. I'll get into more of this tomorrow, maybe, when I have a little more distance. Remember all of this was a) filmed and b) in front of Alex!
The biggie?
I am not getting my house back tomorrow. That's even worse than Fido, and Fido was pretty bad....
posted by Mike @ 7:05 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Poor baby. :) Hopefully your digs will be yours again, soon.
Man, you are going to have to burn that building to the ground and seed the ashes with salt. KD is a bit, shall we say, demented in her thought processes. Come stay with me. :-)
Although I am so stealing the line about Switzerlad the next time someone asks me where I've been for the past year. My dad would probably freak.
why not? Does CSU have to go over the place? (hope no one left prints on that bong lamp)
the door in Jersey's always open, Mikey.
I kinda like that picture. Any info about it?
That one's by a guy named Caspar David Friedrich, and it's Tree With Crows. There's a damn gallery in my hallway.
She also put up freaky stuff by a guy named Sowa, and a bunch of things with people melding into the ground, or coming out of trees, or being drowned. Nice.
You know Mikey- that picture closely resembles the tree from "The Ring"- I'd be careful if I were you...
The picture is really nice. Is there no way that you can have her evicted? :)
She. CRIED. At. Me.
So, no.
Oh, Mike. I don't know whether to laugh, or cry, for you. Your life is better than a soap opera on a sleazy week :)
OMG ... what a mess ... so
1)when do you get your place back?
2)do you want it back?
3)are you sure you're not too comfortable at Alex's place?
4)do we get to see the film????
lotsa luv ann xxxxxx
Way to go Kenny, he was a huge help, huh?
Even for a psycho, that Switzerland thing is just mean.
Ann -
1) The fifth-friggin'-teenth!
2)Yeah, why wouldn't I? Is it like permanently soiled, you mean?
3) Oh. Um...don't know. Shouldn't she be sick of me?
4) That would require an art student to finish something - HAH!
Mike, just give me ten minutes with her....all your sorrows will be history!
who's Fido?
Mikey, mikey, how could anyone be sick of you?
mwahx
get some wiccans in there after the housepest leaves, and do a major cleansing. Get rid of the bad vibes !Maybe the Porn Fairy can help with writing a ritual.
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