Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I Added Music!

Today's song is "Stressed" by Jim's Big Ego. It may not be the one playing, but you can select it down there at the bottom of the page.

Tomorrow - technically tonight, I get to go to dinner with the Eater of the Dead ex. Oh, fab.

So, before I march into the mouth of Hel, I figure I can leave you behind one last testament.

Dear Porn Fairy:

My name is Mike Logan, and I am above the age of consent. I have been very, very naughty this year, and I would like the following things:

1) A private pole dance. I get veto power on the music, but I’m flexible. If there’s no pole, I can provide one. Yeah, baby, I sure could.

2) To play Batman and Black Canary get it on behind Green Arrow’s back (I think his costume looks too much like Robin Hood, and chicks dig the Bat.)

3) Alternately, Wonder Woman and her lasso would be nice. I’ve been really bad. Can I have both?

4) Japanese Pure lotion, in either lemon or strawberry. I hear it’s pretty good. I don't want anything else from the place where I saw it for sale, though. They go way too far.

5) I don’t want a pony, but pony-related entertainment (you know what I mean, don’t you, Porn Fairy? You know everything!) would be something I could go for. As long as someone doesn’t get carried away with that friggin’ crop again.

6) I know I just got new porn, but quality erotica is always welcome – video or pictorial.

7) Corsets. I like corsets. If they’re so damn uncomfortable, I’ll wear one, too, dammit, just please, please, make with the corset!

Thank you for listening, Porn Fairy. I have left out a glass of bourbon and a slice of cold pizza for you. Enjoy!

Yours Truly, Mike "Naughty Monkey" Logan

19 Comments:

At 3:06 AM, Blogger Jules said...

Dear sweet Jesus, Mikey; it's a good thing you clarified that about the pony. And didn't I read something earlier about giraffes and goats? What are you trying to tell us, babe?

Heavens, I feel the need to go shower in Chlorox....

BAD Mikey!!!!

 
At 3:08 AM, Blogger Jules said...

PS....I thought she only ate live babies with ketchup and garlic, not dead people. :-)

 
At 3:50 AM, Blogger Mike said...

You must've missed the "Ride me like a pony" joke.
That's as close as it gets. Even women with snakes freak me out. No animals. Nuh uh.

Oh, and KD's preferred diet consists of souls washed down with the blood of the innocent. Not sure which condiments go with those.

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger ann said...

Mikey Mikey, darn the music's gone and I was swaying to that. Oh, I love naughty ... is there any other way?

Thanks for the ideas ...

1)Mmmm ... I was only 'toying' with a 'pole' the other day ... oh and the dance variety ... hmm ... do you think Bobby will like it?

2)Batman .... I'll hold that thought .... but give me Conan any day

3) If I was your porn fairy, I'd let you have both ... can I borrow them when you've finished?

4) Strawberry, Mikey. Lemon .. nah .. will leave a sour taste in your mouth or hers!

5) Pony ... hmmm ... NFMT

6) Poetry + porn = perfect

7) Bobby loves corsets ... on me. Do you want to borrow my Madame Butterfly?

Enjoy your dinner darling ... can it really be THAT bad

mwahx mwahx

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger ann said...

Mikey, thanks for the music ... you are clever ... I love the Sheila Nichols, Lowen & Navarro and Alison Krauss ....

thanks a million ... wonder what music you'll be playing tomorrow ... Alice Cooper???

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger Jules said...

What wine goes with that?

Ride you like a pony? Ahhh, how short your memory is, babe!

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger Axe said...

Mike...I think I'm in love with you.

 
At 8:18 AM, Blogger Axe said...

Oh, and thank you for the big pole you gave me for Christmas. All you need do now, is give me a reason....

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger kacey said...

I think hot sauce goes well with souls and blood.

Mike, thanks for adding another dimension to the term "horseplay". Funny, I never thought about you with the whole bridle/bit thing ;-)

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Mike said...

If people want the code, I can email a document - however, you need a source to host files from.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Criminal Minds Fan said...

I can't tell you when I have laughed so hard. You are very "unique". I will never be able to look at a pony again without thinking of you! :)

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Mikey,
Entertaining as always!
Good job adding the music!!

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger Sara said...

LMAO! You're great!

Of course chicks dig the Bat. But it's not going to be Batman/Black Canary, its Wonder Woman/Batman.

~Sara

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Chloe' Gardner said...

Mikey- What did I tell you about the porn fairy?

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger ann said...

love your NBF ... mmmm ... sigh ... I have just learnt such a lot ... hmmm

lotsa luv ann xxxx

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger Mike said...

I noticed! And yours is much cooler, since you don't have to put a dorky bar somwhere....

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger Jules said...

Hey, I can bolt a jungle gym on the ceiling of my bedroom!!

 
At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my, Mike. My opinion of you is definitely changing. You are sooo naughty, and I love it!

 
At 10:18 AM, Blogger MartyF said...

Mikey,

Hey, Batman is cool, but Green Arrow ROCKS! As to Black Canary, she's cool too, but Zatanna is WAY better! (naughty grin)

 

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