The Man Who Laughs....

Has not yet heard the bad news -- Bertolt Brecht

Well, well, let's all point our fingers and snicker, shall we?
Hey, I didn't mean for you to do that literally!

Not content with her satirical poem, a certain someone dropped off a printout from a link for me.Here, you can see it yourself; Jody's Garage has seen fit to mock the great tradition of Irish yoga, and not only that, she circled some of the 12 Signs, and asked which I'd been subjected to. Saran Wrap guy's ears do look sorta familiar....

Oh, and there was also the cute little list, culled from a magazine I got a gift subscription to.

You Know You're a Drunkard When

• Your name is police code for Public Intoxication.


• Your favorite drinking game is Do A Shot Every Time You Do A Shot.


• When a panhandler asks, "Can you give me a quarter for some beer?" you reply, "Okay, but I want to taste it first."


• You know heavy drinking makes you smarter because you can never remember doing anything stupid while blacked out.


• You've never been to Afghanistan or Pakistan, but you’re a frequent visitor to Imtoodrunktostan.


• You can tell what bar you're in by the bottoms of their tables.


• You judge cologne by its bouquet and finish.


• You forget how pants work.


• When buying floor tile, you press your face against it to see how comfortable it would be to sleep on.


• You get into a loud, enraged argument, then realize you're alone.


• You hate the person you become when you black out, because, you know, that f@cker drinks all your beer.


• You know that, with a bouncer's assistance, man is capable of short-term flight.


• You can, in a pinch, construct a fully-operational keg tap from a cigarette lighter, two clothespins and lots of love.


• You always confuse the words picture and pitcher, especially when someone says, "Hey, take my picture."


• You wish temperance leagues still sang anti-drinking religious hymns outside bars, because it'd be a very funny thing to watch while getting hammered.

But that's neither here nor there. G'wan, laugh it up.

While she's in a good mood, I guess it's time to mention that I'm dealing with the Discordian the Wednesday night, and she's still invited......I called the vile one late last night to suggest an apology for disturbing the peace. It is never a good idea to wake the demon-queen. She is a evil critter, and that's no lie. Want to know what she said? "You got problems, Logan. You oughta talk to your shrink. Hang on, I'll nudge him awake for ya."
After I finished sputtering, she claimed that she'd already left an "I'm sorry" on the voicemail, but if I preferred, she'd make nicer. Of course, she said, if she could do it in person it'd be more convenient and entertaining, then she trailed off into mad cackling.

I like it better when they're plotting violence. Humor is much more painful and the sting lasts longer.