Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Too Much Stuff

I have a horrible headache, and now I can't sleep. I need to stop by my place tomorrow and refresh my wardrobe, so hopefully, Kate will be out.

Bobby's post about fear, and the other about that kid...I've got to stop reading that or something.

I feel like I'm dragging the whole tone down over here. My bad. Still haven't talked to Alex. So, if Kate says she likes Alex, and Alex won't talk about why she doesn't like Kate, what's going on here? Should I keep my trap shut?
I hear plenty of theoretical advice, but no actual plans....

And if I go ahead and talk to Alex, as Sara suggested I do, I'm pretty sure that'll be it. Luckily, she's been sleeping right through the restless nights I've been having. I'd mention the nightmares, but that'd just bore you.

Here, I'll try to sound more like me.

A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he's staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers: "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you've been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, the problem is, I've got a terminal disease, and before I die, I wanted to fufill a fantasy I've had. I've always wanted to have a nun give me a blow job."

She responds, "Well, my son, since you're dying, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts laughing. "My dear child," says the nun, "Why are you laughing?"

He stops laughing for a moment and says, "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned, and I've pulled a fast one on you. I'm not dying, I'm married with three kids, and a I'm a Baptist."

The nun says, "Well, the joke's on you, pal. I'm on the way to a Halloween party, and my name's Kevin."


Go see Amy if you want to participate in her evil little question-and-answer session. (I lost a bet.)
How many of you check out each others' blogs, anyway?

14 Comments:

At 1:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zing!

Poor Mikey, you sound like you need a hug...or a neck massage. Headaches are a real b*tch.

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Funny joke.
Sorry about the headache.
And next time you'll think twice before you make a sucker bet!! ;^)

 
At 2:57 AM, Blogger Chloe' Gardner said...

I love that joke- that's one of my favorites!!! Sorry about the headache- those can be a real bitch.

PS: Don't push Alex. She's the current, Kate's the ex. We'll leave it at that.

 
At 2:59 AM, Blogger Mike said...

Would someone f*ckin' explain that? I'm getting two different reactions here, and it's driving me right outta my skull.

 
At 3:09 AM, Blogger Axe said...

Dump both, be single and do that *song title* we have been talking about, Mikey! It's not a nice thing to do, but being happy has nothing to do with being nice!!
(THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO AXE : CHAPTER 4)

 
At 3:40 AM, Blogger Shadow of a Joke said...

ohhhh thats a good joke, didn't see it comming.

Oh and take my advice, never get involved in the affairs of women, if you do they will both hate you in the end.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Mikey, the current never likes the ex because she feels like the ex will always have a special place in your heart, no matter how much you seem to hate her.

Alex might be feeling a little insecure that KD is taking up so much of your life. Alex is not a petty person, so her worries are reasonable.

The ex and the current reside in two different timelines of your past. These timelines should never overlap unless the current wants to avenge you or something, and gets into a fight. But that's it.

Sorry about the headache. What I do is massage my temples in a clockwise direction for a minute and then switch to counter-clockwise. Try it, mybe it'll help...

 
At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's some tough love for ya, Mike:
Look, bonehead, women are territorial. You NEVER mix ex's with currents. We're not like the guys, ex's and currents don't go out, share adult beverages, and swap lockeroom stories about the same guy. It just doesn't work. Ya gotta keep these women separate in your life. Now, should current become an ex, well, that's a whole different ball game.
Hope I wasn't too tough. Then again...you're Mike! You can take it :)

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger Axe said...

Told him that yesterday, Riccie. Over and over...
I guess men just don't fucking listen!

 
At 9:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

PS I do visit other's blogs. It's fun, and enlightening :)

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger Criminal Minds Fan said...

Okay...pick one of them and stick with them! You can't have your cake and eat it too. Exs and current girlfriends seldom get along. I check out the other blogs! :)

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger kacey said...

I'm thinking it's KD who is insecure. Yeah, I know, she's nuts and all, but she knew that she still held a place in your current world, but now she has evidence that "it ain't all about her" and she's not happy about it. Whaddya think?

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger ann said...

1) yes, keep your mouth shut ... but then I don't like confrontation

2) that joke was ruuuuuuuude [LOL]

lotsa luv ann xxxxxx

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger Jules said...

Man, Mike, you have got to get KD out of your life. It is never good when you're still trying to hold on to something from the past that is better left behind. And I don't care how outrageously insane the sex is, KD gotta go!!!!

And yes, I play around on other peoples' blogs.

 

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