Wednesday, November 23, 2005

More Later

I don't have much time now - but I have to say this. Since it seems like there really are women reading this, I have something that nags at me. I wake up nights wondering about it. I've lost more than one relationship over it. Today, at lunch, I looked at my partner, really looked at her, and I had to say it, because I wanted to hear the truth. I wanted to understand.
"Carolyn, " I said. "When I asked you if you wanted fries, you said no."
"Mmhm."
"I said I'd pay for them, I said go ahead, have the fries. You said no."
"Mmhm."
"I offered one last time - I said I'd get a double order with toppings. You said no."
"Mmhm."
"So WHY are you eating my fries? What, are they magic no-calorie fries? Do they taste better because they're stolen? Why, just tell me why, can't you EVER just order fries for yourself?"
She swallowed the mouthful she was working on, rolled her eyes, said "Don't be a grouch," and grabbed some more.
It's the eternal mystery, I swear to god.

16 Comments:

At 4:49 PM, Blogger bogusboobs said...

First of all, EVERY woman knows that "free food has no calories." Second, every girlfriend knows that "his food tastes better." Finally, every seductress knows that "when I eat HIS food, he's watching my mouth ..."

Here endeth the lesson.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Criminal Minds Fan said...

Plus if she ordered her own fries she would probably eat all or most of them and consume all that fat and those calories. By flinching a few of yours she can limit what she eats. Bigger question is: why does it bother you in the first place. If you both finish the order and you are still hungry then you can order yourself somemore. Plus, woman like men you share. Learn the lesson and maybe you will have better luck with the ladies. Maybe Bobby will give you some tips on women if you ask him real nice.

 
At 5:32 PM, Blogger ann said...

1) no calories from someone else's plate
2) no calories if you eat them standing up
3) no calories if you didn't enjoy them
4) no calories eating on the run
5) no calories if they were cold
the list is endless.

Mike, you are one very lucky guy if that is your biggest problem and displaced new yorker is right; Bobby knows exactly how to treat his woman ........ purrrrrrr

lotsa luv Ann xxxx

P.S. You do know you are soooooo funny.

 
At 5:39 PM, Blogger Ames said...

LOL that's kinda funny.
:-)
I know I do that when I only want a few, and not an entire order to myself.

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger Criminal Minds Fan said...

Well ladies, I think we did a very good job on counseling the guy on how to share food with us ladies.

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

This woman orders her own fries, or whatever. I don't like touching other people's food & I certainly don't want them touching mine. YUCK! I don't care what kind of pig I look like in front of whomever I'm eating with. Of course, this could explain why not alot of people ask me to eat with them. Hmmm...

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger ann said...

vdofan: what does the ROTF part of ROTFLMAO mean? my daughter put me wise on the LMAO bit when she was home last month, but I just can't figure out the beginning.

Sorry Mike for using your blog, but no point asking that question elsewhere; it wouldn't have meant much.

lotsa luv Ann xxxxx

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger ann said...

I love eating from Bobby's plate

 
At 7:21 PM, Blogger ann said...

and every wife who thinks she knows that the way to her husband's heart is through his stomach, is aiming too high.

will I get the pleasure of your company tonite sweetheart, pleeeeeeease?

I promise to be a 'good' girl

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Chloe' Gardner said...

Maybe she's trying to tell you something? *winks* Perhaps you should buy her food more often? :0)

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger penguin_girl76 said...

Number One: Stolen food has no calories.

Number Two: Fries are meant to be shared. Especially if toppings are involved. They're a community food.

Number Three: You've broken up with women over french fries?! What is your deal?! hahaha

Now maybe you can explain some things about men like the toilet seat thing how you consider underwear turned inside out to be "freshened up."

Love ya Mikey! Keep Learning. We'll get you in shape if it kills you. :-p

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger eliza said...

What they all said!!! Stolen food has no calories,tastes better,etc,etc.

You know if you keep doing this you are gonna end up knowing more about women than you want to.

How about sharing some of the male stuff with us.Like why lifting your feet up is helping with the chores.

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger ann said...

eliza, you crack me up. I thought only Bobby did that

 
At 6:07 AM, Blogger eliza said...

mrsbobbygoren:that's the tip of a very large iceberg!!! The list is endless.

Eliza xxx

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger Brandy said...

This is too funny:)

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger Deb Walsh said...

The whole thing in a nut shell is we know that if we disturb your natural train of thought (like if she wanted fries why didn't she let me buy them for her would sound sensible) then you will remember us.
(Like Oh yeah the girl the girl who used to eat my fries what ever happened to her????) Ok!!!
:) Deb

 

Post a Comment

<< Home